As many know, I am a student or a myesis in a lovely Order of Priestesses to the Great Goddess called the Order of Déa- Déa being the name that we use for the Great Mother.

My last months topic was about offerings.

The act of making offerings has never been a conscious thing for me. While I was aware that people choose to consciously make offerings to Déa, I had not really given it much thought until I began this lesson.

That’s when I realized that I have been doing them naturally all along.

As stated before I always have a sacred space or altar for my practices. It is always decorated with thought and care that it be a place worthy of the Goddess. By creating a space, I was offering it to Déa.

I often add fresh flowers, crystals, pictures or statues. I always burn incense and candles for Her when I am at my altar.

I sing to her every time that I worship as singing is something that is a part of me. I have also been known to create polymer clay “mini-goddess” type ornaments and for different occasions. I also make sure that I, myself am presentable when I come before Her. I will always, at least, wash my hands and face and make sure that my hair is brushed nicely. I think this is something that I can offer of myself I can show her that I take pride in myself and that I want Her to see me “at my best”.

Part of this month’s work was to make an offering of choice to Déa or to a goddess of our choice.

For my offering to the Great Goddess, I decided that I would make it be an offering to my own Patroness Diana. Diana is goddess of the hunt, forests and also a lunar goddess. She has been at my side for quite some time now and I had never made a real grand offering to her.

Over the last year, my husband and I became associates in a deer farm. We are currently the owners of 7 “Daims” or Fallow deer. As deer are sacred to Diana, I thought that I would go out with my husband and bring the deer my offering in her name.

So one Saturday morning, I went out in my warm coat and rubber boots. We brought large buckets of bread and grain out for the animals. There are 3 different kinds of deer on the farm and we were taking care of all of them that weekend. When the other, more sociable deer were all fed, I took a bucket of grain and a bucket of bread down the slope of the hill to where our daims were hiding. They are not sociable creatures and very wary of humans…for good reason. Our big male, “Cernunos” had hearded his ladies down and out of our sight upon our arrival. So I went and held up my buckets for them to see and proceeded to pour them out on the ground in small piles for them to eat. I backed up 10 meters and sat down on a log and waited to see what would happen. I began doing my regular prayers in the field and talking to my goddess. I told her that I was making the offering in her name.

After a bit the daims started to slowly approach where I had left the food. The big male pushed his females forward and they came to eat. I did not move. Cernunnos stood with his big antlers and looked right at me while the females ate. He never stopped looking at me. Then he pushed them down and away from me. They ran down the hill, but he turned and snorted at me. Was it a Thank you? Or a get lost? I do not know, but it was glorious and I like to think that the offering was well accepted by my goddess’s protégés.

As for the words that I used:

“Adoni Elohim (A Hebrew invocation of the Divine Spirit and the Holy realm)

Greetings and gratitude up to the Holy realm.

I would like to thank you for all the blessings that you have bestowed upon me and my family. We are ever thankful for all that we have.

I would like to call upon the Holy angels to continue wrapping my family and animals in love, light and protection.

May we be kept safe from harm, safe from causing harm and conscious of the people around us at all times.

Great Mother, I am ever your servant, may I be your voice, hands and heart for whatever purpose that you need of me on this day and all the days to come.

Today I come before you oh Great Diana with a purpose, a purpose of offering my love and devotion to you. I will offer to your sacred creatures and hope that this will be pleasing to you.

Shares Her Love (sings)

By Kellianna

The Mother shares Her love in the falling rain
The Mother shares Her love in the corn and grain
The Mother shares Her love in the warm hearth fire
The Mother shares Her love in the breeze that flies
Great Mother may we share with you our gift of song
We raise our voices joyfully, we raise them strong
Oh, Mother we are grateful for all you do
And we have come together now in praise of you

I offer this humble offering with my whole heart.

Ela Déa Oréa.

When it twas over I thanked her for her attention and went to help clean up.

I felt calm and exhilarated when the eluive animals came. We have owned them for many months but I had never gotten close enough to even really see them. The have 4 hectares of land and keep a safe distance.

My lovely mentor reminded me that just going out and spending time was a lovely in-phase offering to Diana.

I intend to make many more offerings!

Bright Blessings



It’s nearing the end of January during one of the coldest weeks I can remember, and all I can think about is springtime, flowers and fresh cut grass. Perhaps it’s sadistic to think such things, as it only makes us fill with melancholy when we wish for flowers as we walk through snow drifts with no end in sight.

What is it about us that make us long for what we don’t have? In summer, during the height of the humidity, we long for snowfall. During autumn, we anticipate Christmas trees, sparkling lights and, yes, snow! After a month of snow, we are anxious for the buds of spring, and so on. It’s this endless cycle of longing that we have found ourselves in that carries us through our days. Longing for more, for something different, and perhaps, for another world.


Right now I long for my winter boundaries to be broken down and expanded to include my yard and my side porch where I love to sit. I long to open my windows and feel a light breeze and hear the birds chirping. I want to see my curtains sway gently. I want to feel a part of a larger space, not be confined by the snow drifts, my aching limbs warmed by artificial heat. I want to feel the sun on my face. When autumn was here, I was more than ready to hunker down under a blanket and anticipate the coming holidays. I wanted that. I was so sure that winter wouldn’t come to be a bother to me this time, but it inevitably did. It always does, as will summer, once the heat becomes unbearable. I find myself always wanting something I don’t have in front of me. Is it fickleness in character? I don’t think so. Is it more

of a soul longing rather than a earthbound body’s need for something different? I think it could be.


I’ve considered this idea, and I think it’s totally possible that what we long for as humans goes beyond our humanity, the source of which can be found in our soul. That fire that burns there, deep in our spiritual core is the source of our longing. It’s not just a longing for sun, or flowers, or snow or pumpkin pie….it’s a longing for a place where our soul originates from, a place that is nothing like our present reality. Perhaps we long for that beautiful place some call Heaven, or the Summerland. Our constant searching and desperate longing might be desire for our first home, that spiritual place where we shall all dwell someday. This longing may on the surface seem easily explained; we’re bored, we need a vacation, we work too hard, the winter was long and cold, but I believe these longings may be deeper than that, a longing for our soul haven, that place where we will be set free from the restraints of our

current existence. I believe that despite the connection and love we have for this world and those we share our lives with, our souls long for the place where there are no boundaries, where we are free to just be in a place with no limitations or illness or death. It is no wonder we are always longing and always searching for something more. This world can never satisfy the soul that dwells within which longs for freedom.


Am I taking this longing for spring a bit far? I’m not sure. Perhaps. What do you think? I’d like to hear some of your thoughts on this……Do you believe there is a place your soul longs to be, a Soul Haven? Do you think that our seemingly simple longings have something more behind them?



My Sweet:

As I sent you off to school today, it may have seemed to you I took longer than usual to button up
your coat, to adjust your hat, to help you tie your shoes. The truth is, I probably did. The truth is, I’m
frightened. I know that may seem strange to you, for you believe that Mommy’s and Daddy’s don’t get
scared. We are not invincible like super heroes. The truth is I’m just a little girl all grown up and I get
scared too, just like you, but you must believe that no matter how frightened I am, I will always protect
you. That’s what grown-ups do. We get scared but we don’t let it stop us from doing what needs to be

You may have heard about the terrible tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School. You may have heard
about the guns and teachers who died to save their students. I’m not sure how you feel about it, if you
are able to understand and what I can do to make you feel better. This tragedy may seem too hard to
grasp, and that’s fine. It’s ok not to understand. I don’t understand how these things happen either, but
I do know something. I know that I will always do my best to keep you safe. I know that I won’t let you
live in fear. We can’t hide at home forever. If we do that the bad guys will surely win. We must carry
on. We must go to school, to work, to the park, and to the library. We must laugh and have fun. We
must celebrate life for it is a beautiful gift we have been blessed with. We must take each moment and
love each other and not worry about tomorrow, about sickness, or death.

Bad things happen. There are people who do bad things for reasons we may never understand. Yet, I
ask that you remember that good things happen, too. There are people out there who do good things
for reasons we may never understand, also. I’ve known people to give away money to someone even
though they needed it themselves. I’ve known of people who have put themselves in danger for the
love of another. I’ve known of people who have forgiven someone who has done unforgivable things.
I’ve known people who have devoted their entire lives to the sick and poor. Good things happen too,
and you must not forget that. If you ever believe there isn’t enough good in the world, go out there my
sweet child, and DO something good for someone else. Bring goodness into the world. It’s really all we
can do.

Do not waste your energy trying to understand something that has no rhyme or reason. Go out there
and do good. Be good. Live an exemplary life and the light will fill the world and surely follow close
beside you all the days of your life.

Remember I love you dearly. You are my heart.

Your Sweet Mama

Where does the time go? It’s the age old question we ask ourselves every once in a while, especially
after attending a family or high school reunion. It is the time we see people we don’t ordinarily see,
and we notice changes we may not otherwise if we saw these people on a regular basis, which brings
us to that question…where does the time go? It passes quickly, for certain, and changes come upon us
daily, weekly and yearly. Physically and emotionally we change and grow and for the most part we may
not even notice those changes in ourselves until we look through the eyes of another person, a favorite
cousin who moved away, or a high school crush. It is then that we take stock of who we are, and really
notice our own evolution, while we notice the changes in those around us. Surely if they have changed,
then we must have also we may think to ourselves, and we saunter over to the mirror that we may
sometimes avoid, and really take inventory. In some ways we may be pleased, in others, not so much,
but overall, it’s good to look at the person we have become and give an honest assessment.

I recently attended my high school reunion, thirty years to be exact. It is still hard to believe that my
classmates and I from the class of 1982 are now the age (and perhaps a bit older) than our own parents
were when WE graduated from high school. It boggles the mind, even as we struggle to grasp the reality
of it. It’s obvious we are older, but that really isn’t the negative thing we expected it to be. As I looked
around the room at the assortment of men and women, I took a look inward. When they looked at
me, what did they see? Did they see an older version of me, or didn’t they recognize me at all? When
we spoke, did they say to themselves, “She hasn’t changed a bit” or did they shrug their shoulders and
wonder how I could have changed so completely.

I know I have changed quite a bit, and as I have pondered before, I wonder what happened to that
insecure, needy young girl. When did she leave me? Did she really leave, or am I just a polished up
version of her? Does she sit in wait for a tragic event or sad turn of events to occur so she can come to
the surface and take up residence as primary owner of this slightly worn out body? Are there always
two of us living in the same body, our youthful self, and our adult self? Do we ever truly “grow up?”

There are so many questions, and never any sure answers. Spiritually I feel I have grown leaps and
bounds, and obviously physically I have changed as well. I have found myself in a new place spiritually
speaking, and I am comfortable here, and have found friends of like mind and I’ve been thriving! For
that I am so grateful. I have more trust in the Spirit of Creation, and also in myself. That’s a good thing.
My questions lie more in the area of emotional maturity. I seem to have grown emotionally, taking care
of business, my family and my friends. I see the world less from my own perspective and have learned
what is important and what isn’t. My fear lies in the fact that as I look back at who I was, and think
she’s gone, well, maybe she isn’t as far away from me as I would like. Maybe she dwells just under the
surface of things, and the smell of fear brings her out of hiding and there she rears her ugly little head
and speaks to me in that girlish voice and fills my head with doubts about my abilities. It’s funny that
no matter how sure we may be of ourselves at any one given time, all it takes is a social event, a death,
a random discussion with a co-worker, and you are all disjointed and wondering just how much you
have actually grown. Why must we be plagued with such self-doubt? Is this an inevitable part of the
human condition? Are we doomed to ride a roller coaster of emotions? Is there no one time when we
can breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Wow, I’m glad that’s over.”? You know, I don’t think so. We go
through life expecting to reach this quiet little pond after being tossed around the raging river of life,
and you know, I don’t think such a pool of calmness exists, at least not in the sense that we STAY there
for long! Life seems to be a series of movement, stillness, agitation, and sometimes we go forward and
sometimes we slip back a bit, but it’s never stationary for long. When I was young I expected to reach

this pinnacle and I would be a “grown up” and everything would make sense and all my doubts would
slip away. Yea, well, nice try! That’s just not how it goes and all the desire in the world can’t change it.
Yes, I’ve spent quite a bit of time reminiscing this past week, and overall I have to say that my walk
down memory lane was pleasant enough and the time spent in self-reflection was of value also.
I’ve learned that even if that young girl DOES exist just below the surface, it is in acknowledging our
humanity that we gain strength. Those of us who refuse to acknowledge our own imperfections and
refuse to consider that we could have some difficult times in our lives…well, I think those are the ones
who may not fare as well as those who accept life and all its ups and downs. We may not always handle
things as well as we would like, but if we strive to do our best, at least we will have a fighting chance.
I’m happy to say that through it all, the good and bad, I think I’m doing alright, and that’s no small thing.

I didn’t learn everything I needed to know about life in Kindergarten. I think I may have picked up some
valuable lessons, however, at my thirtieth high school reunion.


The last year has been full of changes and evolution for me. In my last post I spoke about how I did a lovely dedication ceremony in September of 2011. One in which I called myself to service to the Goddess and being a Christian Witch. My goal for the year and a day, this time,  was to study  and get to know the Goddess. As a Catholic, my Feminine Divine references were fairly limited to the Blessed Virgin Mary and any of the female Saints. As a woman, mother and Witch, I felt called to explore that missing link in my spirituality. I began to seek Her out and call to Her.

And Déa answered.

Throughout my year of study, I realized that I desperately wanted to join some kind of order or study group and learn to be a Priestess of the Great Goddess. Very few people in my entourage have the same passion and drive to study this particular subject and so I began to branch out on my own.

There are many lovely orders and study groups out there, most tend to cost quite a bit or require you to participate in local functions. As I am in France, that is not always possible. In the Spring, I found “L’Ordre de Déa- The Order of Déa” and knew that I had found what I was looking for.

Who is Déa, you ask?

Déa is the name of the Great Goddess in all of her guises that my order has embraced for our day to day workings. Dea from the Latin meaning Goddess.

I researched the Order and realized that it is a group of Priestesses and would be Priestesses(myesis) in all different levels of study, led by our lovely High Priestess Ysis Mariah. The amazing part is that the program is free and all of the Priestesses have worked to create this program together. The program is very comprehensive to become a Priestess of the order and the first level takes a minimum of 2 years to complete. While I can not divulge the contents of the program, I can tell you that it is serious study that demands a lot of dedication and commitment. I am  also blessed with an amazing Priestess as my mentor, Rhi-Peann, who follows my work and progress and gives me feedback on all that I submit.  Her presence keeps me grounded and focused. This is one of the rare places where I have found so many others with as much drive and passion to learn and serve as I have. I am actually small potatoes next to these amazing ladies!

As there is a selection process, by all the Priestesses, a would be myesis can only apply at certain times during the year, I began my program in June. The knowledge and friendships that I have made since then have really contributed to my spiritual evolution. The Great Goddess has really become the central focus of my practice for the moment. Being in Her service is my primary goal; hence my evolution away from “The Christian Witch” label. I feel that it has become far more eclectic and open to other paths.

Before anyone gets excited, I must add that the order is a Francophone one. All studies are done in French. I hope that one day we will be able to branch out and embrace Anglophone sisters, but as it is now, you need to have a good level of French to be able to participate. Even as bilingual as I am, I find that I am really stretching my neurons to have to write coherently in French.

So that is where I am at right now.

I am thinking that I will begin blogging my impressions and things that I have learned at the end of each lesson with the hopes of  benefiting those who can not find a program that fits  or to bring a bit of Déa’s grace to those who haven’t found Her yet!

Ela Dea Orea!  (Come beautiful Goddess)


Picture from L’Ordre de Déa- The Order of Déa

As my spiritual journey has taken me off the beaten path, and I watch as my youngest child grows
older, closer and closer to the age when she will be due to have her First Communion, my mind and
imagination has gone wild! I imagine indoctrination, hellfire and man’s sinfulness being stuffed down
her tiny throat….a realization on the part of those running the instruction of what “I really am” and
a public burning in front of the Catholic Church we attend, with me as the main course! Yes, these
images have gone through my over anxious mind, and I don’t feel bad saying, it has me in a quandary.
My first question was do we go through with Communion training at all? Can we skim by this without
my Catholic mother noticing? The answer to that….HARDLY! She has been counting the days since
my daughter was born, and has planned the day down to the outfit and tiny rosary beads she plans on
purchasing for her. My mother is a wonderful woman, a very devout Catholic, and someone I respect
very much. She’s 86 years old, and this day means the world to her, just as my son’s Confirmation Day
did. He wanted to drop the classes, and I told him that if he did drop them, it was fine with me, but
HE was the one who would have to tell my mother. Needless to say, he finished the classes and was
confirmed. It didn’t kill him.

Which leads me to this: if Confirmation didn’t swallow him whole and spit him out a Fundamentalist,
then First Communion shouldn’t do much harm either, in fact, perhaps it could do some good. I was
brought up in a Catholic household, and it didn’t stop me from spiritual exploration, and I do want her
to have a relationship with Jesus, so we’ve signed her up for classes, and this past Sunday, I actually
participated in a parent’s meeting. I was dreading it, feeling like they would see right through me, as
if I were actually wearing a pointy black hat with my familiar sitting on my shoulder! I felt that way
through at least the first 15 minutes of the meeting and when there was no call to arms, I figured I was
safe for the time being. I had my phone on my lap, ready to text my Circle in case I felt threatened. My
protective circle was in place and I made it through. One meeting down….4 more to go.

This is an awkward position to be in for a person such as myself, one who straddles the fence between
Catholicism and Witchcraft. I’ve had a very tough time finding my way as it is, and then to throw in this
guilt and fear, it just makes my head ache. I wish it were simpler. I wish that I knew for sure I would be
accepted, and that in turn, my daughter would be accepted. As she grows, she is curious about what I
do, and I want to share these things with her and to explain our unique position, but I fear that in her
youthful exuberance, she will share more than she should with the wrong person, and I’ll end up in
counseling with our parish priest beginning with a prayer and liberal dowsing with holy water. I don’t
want to be put in that position, but I don’t want to hide from her either. I also don’t want her to feel she
has to hide, but on the other hand, she DOES. I’m shaking my head right now just thinking about it. It’s
making me dizzy!

I’m not sure what the solution is, so I’m just going to do what my mother always told me to do when
I had a problem. I’m going to ask the Creator for help. I want to do the right thing, and who better to
ask for guidance than our dear Divine Parent? I know I will be guided in the right direction. It’s nice
knowing that. Even though I don’t know the answer to this problem, I do know for certain that I am
loved, and that I will receive help when I ask for it.

Knowing that makes me feel less fearful, and it seems that’s all I can ask for, for now…and you know, it’s
really enough.


Last year around this time I finished a year and a day of study and did a dedication ceremony. One that finished with the words “I take this oath of my own free will. I look in the mirror and proudly call myself a Christian Witch! So as I will it, so mote it be. Blessed be!”

When the date rolled around this year, I found myself dragging my feet and couldn’t seem to commit to anything or to prepare anything to commemorate. I felt fairly blah and so I let it slide saying that I would get to it. 2 months has passed and still nothing. I think the fact is that, that particular sentence no longer feels authentic to me anymore. I never refer to myself as a Christian Witch- I am not one. I am an Eclectic for sure but the Christian part seems to be slipping away. I still consider myself Pagan-Christian (I am inverting the words today to see how they feel) as I still follow some Christian traditions  and of course the teachings of Jesus, but my heart has moved into a broader more eclectic belief system.

Today in the blended group, people were discussion using Scripture in their spell work or rituals and I realized that I would never do that. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a supporter of the Bible and pretty much hate when people quote scripture to re-enforce some argument or to try and make a point. It just ticks me off-knee jerk maybe. I respect those who read it and find comfort and value in it, but if you want to make a point with me, that is not the way to go!  I  know it has value as all spiritual writings have. There is even beauty inside and I can see it, I am not that blinded by my reaction.

Is that what makes a Christian?

Do I have to buy into the “Good book”. If it is then I have never been one. Maria assures me that it’s not.

I feel myself floundering, wondering where I exactly belong and if I will ever figure it out. My journey towards the Great Goddess that I begun late last year has put many things in question and I am stuck going round a traffic circle (I live in Europe we have them EVERYWHERE) there are roads that I can take but I have no idea what to do, so I keep going round and round making myself dizzy.

When I spoke those above words, I was so sure and proud and now I can’t remember what that feels like or why.

“The wheel keeps turning and I keep searching” my dear sister K said to me the other day…I guess I am not the only one..




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